Well, hello, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Blogs You Couldn’t Possibly Live a Full Life Without Reading. Today we’re going to talk about a very special blog, Thank You For Letting Me Autograph Your Cat, and why your life is a dark abyss if you have not yet stumbled upon this work of art.
Why do you need to read TYFLMAYC, you ask? Well, I’m glad you said that, Frank. See, most blogs will give you regular posts, opinions about stuff, maybe the odd bit of fiction… but only on this blog can you read IcedCappp’s random ramblings about her redundant and uninteresting life. Your life will never be the same, and that’s the Iced Cap Guarantee. We’ll even give you your money back if you don’t like it! It’s that simple!
But wait, there’s more! If you read this blog, Kevin, your life will begin to change in ways you never expected. Your true love will ask you to marry him/her. You will get promoted. You will win the lottery. Your irritating boss will die suddenly in a tragic blimp accident. You will grow a tail and the removal process will be covered under your insurance. The possibilities are endless!
But that’s not all, Frank! Call now, and you’ll receive a second chance to read this blog, free! That’s almost a $0.00 value, folks! And remember, that’s Canadian dollars – don’t forget the exchange! In USD, that’s almost $0.00!
Don’t go away – we’ve got more exciting offers like this coming right up! And more exclamation marks too! All the exclamation marks! Because it’s an infomercial, so we’re really enthusiastic!