File a Lawsuit Against Me, Because I Love Valentine’s Day

I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day since 2006. I was weeks away from my 14th birthday, and months away from being asked to the grade 8 graduation dance by the guy I had a crush on. Since then, I’ve had Valentines of all shapes and sizes – I’ve gotten roses, chocolates of every brand, and even some sappy Hallmark cards.

Even in 2006 and before, I loved Valentine’s Day. My parents get me cards, usually with Snoopy on them, and I get chocolate too. My grandparents buy the good stuff from Laura Secord, some years. Also I’m a girl, and I like pink. Sue me.

There’s something about having someone to share Valentine’s Day with, though. There’s something about going to the store and sifting through every card until you find one that doesn’t make you put your head through a wall (Look, Hallmark, my boyfriend is not a rock, nor is he my best friend, nor is he my everything. I will not buy a card if the things it says are LIES. What do I have if not principles?) There’s something about picking out a heart-shaped box of chocolates and hoping he doesn’t pick out the exact same one for you because that would be silly. There’s something about your boyfriend being on a diet and asking you to get him a stick instead (true story). The roses, and the candlelit dinner, and the obligatory atmosphere of trying so hard to fake something that is already there…

It’s awful, and I love it.

Why do we feel like we have to justify our perfectly legitimate relationships with cards, flowers, and chocolate? Why does everything have to be forced, one day a year, when we manage just fine every other day? I don’t know, but what I do know is that having a chance to tell the people you love how much they mean to you cannot be a bad thing.

Here’s what I’d write in a Valentine’s Day Card if I was going to write in a Valentine’s Day Card:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If violets are blue why is “violet” purple?
Let’s talk about this and other things later over dinner while we catch up on our shows.
We’ll have to talk over the commercial breaks, but we’ll make it work. We always do.
That’s really what this is all about, isn’t it? Making it work? We work on this every day of our lives and I’m not going to insult our efforts with some cheesy card that pretends our love is a rose or whatever. We work because we talk about random crap, we speak our minds, we stopped trying too hard, and we’re not afraid to stay in and watch Cake Boss for hours together because we know that our Valentine’s Day plans don’t define us as a couple. We are so much more than a card and a box of chocolates. I know it, you know it, and that’s what matters.
But I also love chocolate, so maybe pick me up some on the way home.

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2 Responses to File a Lawsuit Against Me, Because I Love Valentine’s Day

  1. Should send your card interior to Hallmark. You never know ……
    Loved it.


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