The Most Boring Birthday Blog You’ll Ever Read (I’m So Bored)

It’s my birthday today.

I’m turning 22. That means that I’ve passed every possible reason to be excited about a birthday, including the following:

  • Having a birthday party (1-17)
  • Becoming old enough to drive (16)
  • Becoming old enough to vote (18)
  • Becoming old enough to buy alcohol (19)
  • Escaping the teenage years (20)
  • Becoming old enough to buy alcohol in the USA (21)

That’s about it. It’s all downhill from here.

I mean, my age is now a multiple of eleven, which is something that people might take seriously. If they were crazy.

I’m an even number again.

… No, there’s really nothing interesting about 22 as opposed to 21. One Taylor Swift song has become relevant to me, I guess, but aside from that, I’ve just managed to go another year without dying. That’s nice too.

There are also gifts. I got some cash (and promptly spent it all). Aside from that, here are my birthday gifts this year:

  • A utensil holder
  • A slow cooker
  • A medium black coffee
  • A new mug (in transit)

And I’m pretty excited about all of the above. The slow cooker was the thing I really wanted. The utensil holder matches my kitchen theme (roosters). The coffee was something I needed this morning. And I’ve been waiting for this particular mug for some time now.

Am I rambling on about my birthday presents for any particular reason, you ask? No, I am not. This is not an interesting blog entry. How can I be expected to write an interesting blog entry while sitting in an Audit Strategy lecture? Every creative thought has been zapped out of me.

Zapped is probably the wrong word for this situation. God, I’m even boring myself now. I am not trying to be self-deprecating. I am actually trying to file a complaint about the mind-numbing nature of my life. I should probably be doing some kind of self-reflection and looking to the future, at this great 22-year landmark. But all I want to do is put my head on this (probably not clean) desk and sleep through this lecture, and the rest of the day. And tomorrow. And Thursday. Then go home.

I am going to force it, though. I have already done 2 bulleted lists in this post. Everything comes in threes, does it not? I will craft a list of things I would like to improve about myself before I am 23. When I am 23, I can look back on this list and feel completely unfulfilled. It’ll be great. Before I am 23, I would like to:

  • Still be a blogger, preferably a better one
  • Finish 2 more novels (yikes!)
  • Finish 1 more sketch book
  • Actually go to the damn dentist for once
  • Graduate University… please?
  • Become a Masters student (NO PRESSURE THOUGH)
  • Form a 10-year plan… Or at least a 10-day plan
  • Finish the Game of Thrones series (this is the only thing on this list I will actually enjoy doing)
  • Bleeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh
  • Stop being so miserable and tired and unmotivated all the time (or, you know, not)
  • And the big one – make real progress in getting over emetophobia (this is the only thing on this list that is a legitimate life goal)

Anyway, happy birthday to me, and stuff. More interesting holidays today include National Cupcake Day and also National Spay Day. Spay and neuter your pets please!! As a birthday gift to me. I promise I’ll appreciate it lots.

Have a wonderful day. I will too if this class ever ends.

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7 Responses to The Most Boring Birthday Blog You’ll Ever Read (I’m So Bored)

  1. jenniferw19 says:

    At 23 you will get a mattress protector, a chopping board and a portrait of an elephant with a top hat holding a glass of wine.

    And you will love it.

    Happy birthday!

  2. Marci says:

    Happy birthday to you! I share my birthday with you, only I turned 40. I love that you did a list of things that you want to have accomplished by age 23; perhaps I will do one for myself prior to reaching age 41 as well! :D

  3. icedcappp says:

    Reblogged this on thanks for letting me autograph your cat and commented:

    Hey, remember when I had life goals and stuff? … Blehhhh. 1.5 months to go, and I am short 1 whole novel. Who has time???

    On my birthday this year I’ll write a better list of goals, like, “eat at Harvey’s” and “drink a bottle of wine a week”.

  4. Pingback: Done. | thanks for letting me autograph your cat

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